Dear All

From the Patio Doors:-

28.9.05 Well when they said there would be rain this evening they were not wrong, one thing for sure, the outside tap is redundant at the moment, but the darn green grass keeps shooting up. The trees are starting to give up their summer disguises. The hanging baskets need a make over, so I'm getting Charlie Dimmock in, I've said no to the water feature though.

I looked out of the window the other evening and poor Thomas was shot off up to bed, "Shower and wash you hair, then into bed", "Why" came the reply, well I honestly thought it was 9 o'clock, but it was seven or just after, so I just said "God's turned the lights out early tonight", I felt guilty - that was okay, he whispered in my ear, a little error is permitted now and then, TH was invited back downstairs.

29.9.05 Note to self:- whilst praying tonight, ask the dear Lord if making day and night change through the year, is just a way of confusing us, he is almost like Tesco, moving stuff around in the shop all the time, to keep the customers minds active, or is it to make us alert and aware?.

30.9.05 Feeling very low today, does bad weather do that to you? Perhaps because the heating had to go on the other evening and that always fills me with dread for the old fuel bills

Brief Medical Update:-

Still awaiting the London Epilepsy Professor to come back to me, hopefully when he has had time to cast his eye over all the tests I had done, they can adjust the medication.

Due to go back to see consultant in Coventry in November, but can't really wait until then to get something sorted out about C6/C7, its still the main cause (I believe) of my lack of sleep, not been able to sleep with a straight neck, it's constantly pinching and creating headaches on the left hand side of the head, pain down left arm at shoulder, elbow and wrist.

Tremour is under medication, and I find the actual tremouring makes my limbs tired, well it's a good excuse for a lie down!.

I've been referred back to the Orchard centre for follow up CBT care, which is a blessing, because London had left me without anything, no safety net, so to speak.

Still unsteady and uncoordinated on my pins, exercise should help.

You know the rest, and I'm only grateful that I have not been labeled with one of the many 'tags' coventry had suggested and tested me for. I think of my dear cousin, who at 45 years is going through chemo and radio therapy, what she has had to put up with is unbelievable.

Thoughts from the Patio Doors:-

I was looking for pictures the other day, to put onto the Blog (www.akerman.blog.co.uk) and trying to find some that summed me up. You only get the option of putting five onto the first page, so; there was one of a handsome young chap, who has obviously gone grey far too early. Thomas's now long departed sunflower, but it reminds me of the seeds to plant next year. An Akerman excavator, there made in Sweden, part of the Volvo BM group, I suppose I've always liked digging around for the truth! One view of the Patio Doors from the Birds perspective, The last one, but no less important, is the charred remains of beams, made into a cross, in the old cathedral church in Coventry. Father Forgive.

I have Revd. Peter Wilson to thank for a couple of things in my life; he married me ...... and Mel, but the second thing he gave me was a love for Coventry Cathedral. If anyone mentions, or gets close to mentioning the "symbolism and meaning of Coventry Cathedral" I think I could rattle it off. Did you know it's altar faces north not east. Did you know that on the 14 November 1940, the only thing to be heard through the destruction of St Michael's was the tower bell continuing to ring, now that's some symbolism.

From an early age, I've always wondered who the architects were of our very old churches and cathedral, but the part that fascinated me, was where did the labour force come from, how far did they travel every day. I suppose that has more interest when you are looking at some of the enormous stately homes, 'stuck' out in the middle of now where, at least in Coventry there would have been some local craftsmen and a community growing up around the original building.

Well I suppose you've got the picture now, I like symbolism and meaning, whether in architecture or in words. A picture can paint a thousand words, or so the song goes, so what's to say that a building can't paint the same images, symbolisms and meanings.

Somebody once took a chance with me and started to debate that you can't be a Christian if you don't go to church. The "God Knows", from a couple of letter's ago, still gets a almost daily reading, and it proves to me that God is all around us, at every moment, at sleep and at rest. But, once you are in a church or cathedral, whether old or new in design, I feel so in touch with the history of the faith of the craftsmen and women who designed and built the building and now work in it, to his praise and glory. Did the Norman craftsmen realise that their work would still be standing all these years on, as a symbolic example of their faith.

That somebody was Ashley's godfather, he was always a very generous debating opponent, letting me win the odd debate or two, and I think the above topic was a draw. It's coming up to a year since he "took an early bath" leaving his twins and wife to be strong, but the one comforting thing I CAN remember from his funeral was seeing his son, aged 10, singing along with his father's selection of music; "Always look on the bright side of life", I'm sure Colin must have drummed those words into Peter's head for a long time. God Bless you Colin - hope you've got email up in heaven because you will like the next joke:-

A Joke or two to end with:-

Do you want a small joke or another long one, whilst you read this bare in mind how short my hair is, and I don't drive ..... at the moment!

THE HAIR CUT

A boy asks his father to use the car and the father replies "No, not until you cut your hair!".

The boy replies "But father...Jesus had long hair!"

To which his father says, "Yeah, but Jesus walked everywhere."

or do you want.....(how many reason's will this give for diets to be abandoned)

The Rules Of Chocolate

1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

7. Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.

8. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

9. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

10. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

11. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

12. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

Prayer:-

May God give me the strength to manage the pain and find courage to deal with the challenges of self praise that tomorrow will bring me.

Writing these letters is always a challenge, because I start with a blank canvas, somehow, something starts to appear, I try not to make sense of it, but slowly I can see a picture emerge. Like a picture, for some artists, it's hard to know when to stop adding more colour, more details and so I find the same problem. Have I said everything I was asked to say? Is there the right balance. Someone, who taught me how to write letters once said; "just ask yourself - so what", so that's what I do, I say after reading the letter for the umpteenth time, does it say what I wanted to say?

Shalom and God Bless

Paul

Joy, you will never believe how many spelling mistooks there where in this one, and sorry to both the sue's, I know you teached me betta!

WHO DO YOU SEE?

(This poem was written by an old lady who lost her gift of speech. When she died the nurses found this poem in her locker.)

What do you see nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you’re looking at me:
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice, “I do wish you’d try”
I’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I rise to your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and Sisters who love one another.
A bride soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home
At fifty once more babies play round my knee,
Again we know children my loved one and me
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look to the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all busy rearing young of their own,
I think of the years and the love I have known.
I’m an old woman now, but nature is cruel
‘Tis her jest to make old age look like fool.
The body it crumbles, grace and vigour depart,
There is now a stone, where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcase a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few - gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing will last,
So open your eyes nurse, open and see,
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer, see ME.

Paul's Note
(I've just Remembered, it comes to all of us)

Dear All (12)

First of all a welcome to a new friend; Revd John Hillier, thank you very much for your encouraging email.

Secondly, I've managed to find Kate's email address, so this letter, that started it's life many moons ago, as a thank you note to her, can actually reach her. Thank you Kate for starting to point me in the right direction.

From the Patio Doors:-

Thomas's Sunflower (for those of you with access to the world wide web thingy, if you go onto www.akerman.blog.co.uk, click on September, you can add your comments and thoughts, against anything, but there have been a couple of responses to his flower, which I managed to take a picture of in full bloom) Anyway it looks very sad for it's self, petals all gone, although my brain got things mixed up yesterday and I caused amusement by calling them 'peffels'

Ashley will need volunteering again, as the grass is getting up to it's usual tricks again, growing seems to be a habit for it. Peter, you'll be pleased to know that the turf used, is the same stuff they use at some third rate American owned football team!!!

As I got home from Church home last night, I was greeted by Thomas and Lydia (next door neighbour's youngest) sat on the drive, glasses of lemonade in hand, packet of sweets in hand, looking as if they were out on a mission. Thomas was holding, a stick, with string attached, which led to a piece of wood, which was propping up an old plastic bin, with, as I learnt some grated cheese under it. "We are trying to catch a mouse" he explained, between sips of lemonade!

Told him that our other friends had been back during the night; the hedgehog/s, but just after he had gone to bed we spotted more bats again

I was not sleeping very well the other night, so got up early (awoke at 0200hrs, got up at 0430 hours) , and sat out side on the Patio, only to be greeted, as time went by a cacophony of bird song, it's sounded like a broadcast from the house of commons, when the speaker has gone out for a bathroom break!

There was something strange about that morning as well, and I don't know if it's a strange or normal happening. If you looked up at the moon, which was very bright, there was also a bright star close to. In what seemed like a cloudless sky, there seemed to be a large circle of dusky light, some distance out from the moon. What was it?

Thoughts From the Patio Doors:-

6pm Evening Communion Service 18 September 2005

Praise the Lord, I made it to Church this evening, and an extra special thanks to Irene and Tony for collecting and returning me. And, a big thank you Joy and George, for healing.

As I came away from healing I had a sudden feeling of warmth and strange smell of bread baking! Who knows the way my brain works? Answers on a postcard please!

Now you know I don't usually have any idea of what I'm going to write about in my letter's, well on this occasion I feel the Lord has asked me to write about bread!. By hecky thump, were do I start, perhaps this is another test...... Yes I'm sure it is....... just had a thought, this is a harvest festival type theme.

Well, lets take a for instance, when all my swallowing faculties are there I love one of those fresh loaves, with grain, malt, whole meal in fact everything that's good for you, but then I spoil it by putting loads of Anchor on it, I'll regret that me thinks. Of course that's providing I managed to cut the sqoddgy (spell check that Joy) fresh loaf. Perhaps this Anchor laidened slice of bread is my comfort food?

There is something about being in church that makes you feel warm,cosy and comforting, even if the boiler has broken down again, (in winter, of course) you still feel protected, shielded from the factory made bread with all the preservatives. Church is free from colourings, E numbers, additives and preservatives, making it a wholesome package.

Instead, this evening I felt so welcomed, because I have not been with you all for such a long time, and to have such a warm welcome from Alex, it's nice to put a face to the name. I felt as if each one of us, on our own, are grains of nourishment. That each welcome from all my friends was different, but when we all came together, and added to the yeast of Love, we made that extra ordinary loaf of goodness that provides sustenance and nourishment both physically and spiritually. What the Anchor represent, I'm not too sure, but I welcome any suggestions.

When, later I arrived back at number 12, it was not long before someone, presumably celebrating a birthday, started letting off a wonderful display of fireworks. Now because of the mood I was in last night, from the achievement of getting back to church, the warmth of healing, and the Good Lord's testing of me to write about bread, I saw these fireworks perhaps as a ..... your'e getting there!, does that sound self centred?

A Joke to end with, it seems you all like these, and missed not having one in the last letter:-

An Orthodox Jewish couple are wondering what to get their son for his upcoming Bar mitzvah. So when he gets home, they ask him:

"So, David, what would you like for your Bar mitzvah?"

He replied, "I would love a motorbike!"

When David had left the room the Jewish couple talked about this amongst themselves. They had no idea what a motorbike was! So, they went down to their synagogue and told the Orthodox Rabbi that their son wanted a motorbike for his Bar mitzvah but they didn't know what it was.

"I have no idea!" he said to the couple's surprise. "You'll have to ask the Reform Rabbi down the road."

So the couple walked down the road and asked the same question to the Reform Rabbi. But his reply was the same as the Orthodox Rabbi:

"I don't know! You'll have to ask the ultra-mega Reform Rabbi further down the road."

So, the couple walked further down the road and found the ultra-mega Reform synagogue. They walked inside and said to the Rabbi there:

"Our son wants a motorbike for his Bar mitzvah but we don't know what one is...can you help us?"

And the ultra-mega Reform Rabbi replied, "Woah, woah, woah, slow down a bit! First things first: what's a Bar mitzvah?"

Prayer:- (Yesterday morning there was a mention on the radio, that we all know someone with cancer and I could not think of anyone immediately, then in the afternoon my uncle 'phoned and told me my cousin (45 years old) has cancer of the esophagus. At the end of our conversation I told him I would keep her in my thoughts and prayers, but this prayer is especially for all those who are sick ....with thanks to the Daughters of Charity (www.daughtersofcharity-emmitsburg.org/)

Heart of Compassion,
Source of Life . . .

Grant to the frail in body
the assurance of your strength,

to all who are ill this day,
a healing balm.

To those who wrestle
with despair,
grant peace.

May those with failing minds
be met with kindness.

May broken bodies
gently mend,

the broken-hearted find
your consolation.

May those caught in the throes
of pain be soothed

and all who dwell
upon the threshold
of eternity

be lifted to the fullness
of your light.

Calm in the storm.
Dawn in the darkness.
Spirit, come.

Amen

Shalom and God Bless,

Paul

Many of you will know that the ideas, thoughts and my thinking for my letter from the Patio Doors, is shaped by my own observations and the web sites I subscribe to. My youngest son, watched with me a small video, which I opened the other day, and suddenly I was moved to write a story for him, which, I do hope I’ve given him a different and true picture of the message contained within it.

The Bears of Knotty Pine a story from the Patio Doors

Once upon a time, in fact, not so long ago, there were a family of Bears who lived in the woods, far, far to the north of the country. There was Daddy Bear, Mummy Bear and Sister Bear, and Brother Bear. They lived in a large Pine forest close to the sea, so they had fish for dinner, whenever they wanted it and runny honey whenever the children had been good enough.

Mummy Bear would be in the cave, getting dinner ready, whilst Daddy Bear would be out helping Sis and Bro practice their growling. He didn’t know when his cubs would need to growl, because they never saw anything in their part of the wood to growl at. So he taught them that it was okay to growl at anything that went by, because in that way their part of the wood would remain theirs, forever.

Mummy Bear came out of the cave, and said to the cubs and their Dad, that dinner was still a little too hot, so they could go for a stroll, so that dinner would cool down. The cubs bounded ahead through the evening shadows, play fighting as they went. Mummy and Daddy Bear strolled behind watching the cubs play.

“You realise it’s new Year in a few weeks” said Mummy Bear, “Yes, I’ve been thinking about what we could do this holiday, we are so lucky we have everything we could ever want, but say we had nothing, or we had to move from our part of the forest and start again” Daddy Bear said. “Well, I suppose, we would have to search out a new home, a new way of life, the past would be all stripped away, and we would have to stand in a new part of the wood, and start all over again, a new beginning, with new questions and new commitments to make” Mummy Bear said.

Suddenly, from up the track a little, one of the cubs growled, they growled so loud it frightened Daddy and Mummy Bear, the cubs sounded really frightened, and they ran back to where their parents were. Slowly and keeping low, Daddy Bear walked up the track, and just behind the trees, in a clearing were, well he could remember his Father telling him stories about humans, but he could not be sure what they looked like. There were four of them, two tall ones and then two smaller ones. If they were humans, they could not have heard the cubs growl, because they stayed where they were.

The Bears walked back to their cave, thinking about, the humans, why were they here, would they stay for long, where will they want to go next, perhaps the Bear’s part of the forest. There were so many questions the Bears did not have answers for, but perhaps New Year would bring the answers to them.

By the time they reached the cave, the Bears were all so hungry that their porridge tasted so much better, and for an extra special treat, because it was Friday night, the children were allowed some honey on their porridge.

The cubs settled down to sleep, safe in the knowledge that the humans would not venture, into, this their part of the wood and even if they did their Dad would growl his loudest, and frighten them off.

Daddy and Mummy Bear sat at the cave entrance and watched the sun set, on what was a beautiful October evening. They could see the orange glow in the distance, which was a constant reminder to them that humans were not too far away, “why were they here”, Daddy Bear kept asking himself.

That night he slept closer to the cave entrance, to protect his family, it felt so strange for him, because he had never had to worry about strangers in his part of the wood, the stranger’s ways were different.

The next morning, after a long and restful sleep all four bear were ready for their usual morning walk, with tummies full, once again with porridge. Daddy Bear said they could go up the river today and the cubs could do their fishing practice. Bro and Sis cub enjoyed playing with the salmon as they made their way up the river and watched and learnt from their Mum and Dad as they caught salmon for their dinner.

As the cubs wondered off, on the track down to the river, Mummy Bear said to Daddy, “have you thought anymore about new year, it’s getting nearer” “Well” Daddy Bear said, “I know we all have choices to make and new beginnings, and I’ve been thinking about why am I here”. “Daddy Bear” Mummy Bear said, “You are always thinking about why you are here!”

“Well, I’ve decided to plan my life a different way” said Daddy Bear. At that moment they caught site of the cubs, they had reached the river, and were playing close to the bank, the river was running very fast over the slippery rocks. Once down there with them, their Mum and Dad, started to show them how to really play with the fish. The cubs got very wet, and their nice brown fur would take a lot of drying, but it was still fun.

Daddy Bear had caught a couple of salmon, and they were eating them on the bank of the river, and out of the corner of his eye he could see one of the small humans, right out in the middle of the river, they did not seem to be having much luck catching salmon, or in fact having much fun at all. Mummy Bear was watching as well. “There is something wrong there, Daddy Bear” she said.

“I know” he said, “what should I do”, “well you said you were going to plan your life in a different way, perhaps you could start now”. “But I’m frightened” he said. “Then you must go and help the small human, it looks as if it’s in trouble” said Mummy Bear.

Daddy Bear started to wade towards the small human, who certainly looked like she was frightened, but Daddy Bear was not sure if it was of him, or the water. He gently picked her up and knowing all the risks, he waded back towards the bank, where the rest of the humans were, they watched with fear in their eyes, as Daddy Bear set the small one down on the pebbles. The small human looked up at Daddy Bear, and the fear in her face turned towards a huge smile.

Daddy Bear waded back up to where the rest of his family were, with pride he said to his family, I’ve decided to plan my life around not been frightened of humans, we will not do anymore growling. He picked up one of the large Salmon and carried it down to where the humans were stood, drying off the small one, and set it down just a short way from them.

As he turned to wade back up to Mummy Bear and the cubs one of the tall humans said “By way of a small thank you, for savings my daughter’s life, I will make sure that every pine door I make in my timber yard on the other side of the forest has an image of a happy bear, within its knots”. Now strangely, although Daddy Bear did not growl the same language as the human, in some way he understood what the human was saying to him.

And sure enough, if you look at a pine door, in your house today, you will always be able to find the image of a happy smiling bear, and it reminds me that if the previous year has been full of despair, grief, questions of who am I? Where am I going? We have an opportunity every New Year to make changes, to stand and make new beginnings.

By Paul (Daddy Bear) Akerman

Here is our Happy Bear from the Bathroom door

If it's not here scroll down a bit further.....

If you would like to watch the two minute video; Thomas and I did, which inspired me to write the above paste the following link www.aish.com/a/startingover.asp

I forgot to put it into the last letter....

Dear All

(A beverage and biscuit, would be advisable)

Peter, have you noticed your name is at the top of the list this time, I've done everything in reverse.

Thomas came up to me this morning (9/11/05) and asked if we were going to have 2 minutes silence today, I answered him honestly and said I didn't know, but if that's what he wanted to do then we could do that. We could think about all the people who lost their lives in the planes and all the children left without Mums' or Dads'. So our silence is timed for 1348 hrs, and it was duly observed.

Aren't our children fantastic, some days you feel as if you could only manage to eat half of one and other days you feel as if you could hug them to bits. This morning surprised me, for someone, who is just Thomas, you don't expect these sorts of things, but perhaps he is changing before my eyes.

From the Patio Doors:-

Yesterday, 10th September, the sky opened, and we had rain on and off all day. This I thought could be down to one of several things, its either; a) The Good Lord providing, what severn trent is short of at the moment, b) Thomas's persistent singing in the bathroom, fortunately he is a little more in tune than his brother or c) the lawn mower monitor only cutting half the lawn the night before, he insists on the purchase of a ride on mower!

On gardener's question time, listeners were advised to dead head and trim straggly bits, off the flowering hanging baskets, so I duly got the kitchen scissors out, and set about my task. Does it look any better, I hear you ask ....... no, they look as if they have been dragged through a hedge backwards..but at last Thomas's sunflower looks makes up for it.....

Does anyone know what to do with 'Daddy Long legs', the house seems to be full of them this year, yes I do close the windows early, but the blessed little things seem to have an emergency entrance somewhere else!

Thoughts from the Patio Doors:-

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we have beaten the Aussies at something...again, but I'm glad the whole thing is over, so I don't have to feel such an idiot when someone say something about the score, and I just nod my head..... I still don't understand the rules. If someone would like the challenge of providing the necessary rules in one small and concise paragraph, I would be grateful.

As I was looking for the joke to end with, Ashley came and announced that he is auditioning next week at school for the part of Fagin ..... and he still puts his head in his hands when I tell him one of my jokes, what can I do???

Last night 12/5/05. the children and I WERE made to sit through Oliver on video tape, I was expecting Ashley to burst into song at any moment, but he just seemed to be taking it all in!

I was looking through my bookcase today, and found a copy of NIV which mother had given me for Christmas last year, and tucked safely away on page 172, was a lesson readers sheet for July to September 1980, it looks as if a certain young man, read Acts 17. 22-31, so I decided to read it once more.

Obviously this piece was selected for me, because it starts off "Paul then stood up in the meeting....." But why did I decide today of all days to pick up the Bible and read that passage, in particular v27 & v28. I suppose the words, "God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each of us"

I've been comforted and sustained by these words this week, because although I have been in such a lot of pain, physically and mentally, to know, that I have sought and found him, that he is still keeping an eye on me, in rediness, for when I honour my promise, my calling,to work for him.

This letter did not seem to have had any theme to it, which surprises me, because usually, they find a common link through them when I start, or so I thought..... But perhaps upon reflection reading back through I suppose one could say it's been about 'God providing'; surprisingly sensitive children, the water for the lawn, angelic bathroom voices (sometimes), providing reassurance that he is never far away and humour with or without meaning.

A Joke to end with:- (with thanks, as ever to www.saltshakers.com), the length of this joke will make up for not having one in letter 10.

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Moishe to represent them. Moishe asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay." An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?" Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here." "And then?" asked a woman. "I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

A closing prayer:-

Thank you Lord for humour and in the subtle ways it can teach us to communicate understanding between faiths. Amen

Thank you Lord for giving me the wisdom, the strength of mind, body and soul to be honest and open, in finding a way which my children now understand their father's illness, a lot more than they did before. I pray also for all the friends I made whilst on the ward, and hope they are making progress with their problems. Most of all Lord, thank you for being there to lift and carry me when you think fit. Amen

Shalom and God Bless

Paul

Thought I would explain some of the pictures on my profile, now that I've sussed out how to do it .... I hope. Well that did not go to plan so let's just try one image, fingers crossed

Me

Dear All,

If I could cast your minds right back to the beginning of these letters, perhaps prior to the daughter related computer crash, when the letter was called "Paul Voice, or lack of it". I mentioned that the original letter started off as a thank you letter to Kate, for her help as a fellow governor at Bawnmore, but more importantly her inspiration to me, through her sermons at a time when I needed it, well I hope Kate you won't mind but I found your email address, so have added this, your thank you letter, albeit it a little late.

Learning Curve time:-

Just to let you know that I've updated "Ye Blog" address (www.akerman.blog.co.uk) sign on (akerman) password (ask me via email). I've managed to "uplift", (sounds technical doesn't it) a picture of myself, it's not the most fetching image, but hay, who cares. I managed to get my grey matter around the technology, but have not learnt how to airbrush out the grey hair! picture is attached. Hopefully you will also see; the patio doors and Thomas's Sunflower, which started to show it's tiny face to all this week 2/9/05.

Views from the Patio Doors:-

A little Jenny Wren has just landed on the new fence, perhaps one of the few garden birds I can recognise. She looked through the glass at me for a few moments, then, I suppose, horrified at what she had seen (I hand't yet had a shave) flew off at great speed.

There are so many bird songs this morning that I am very confused, me thinks I will have to get Mr. Tony "Bill Oddie", to come around and identify a few of them, apart from the annoying sound of the wood pigeon, suggestions for wood pigeons including pastry, much appreciated!.

Next doors fruit tree bows, are started to bend with the weight of their harvest offering, I wonder how long it will be before we have the following puddings; Apple crumble, apple betty, deep apple pie, apple struddle, cyder flavoured Sorbet, stewed apple & custard and the list goes on. It's surprising how the sight of a few apples, and accompanying long shadows, says to my brain, autumn comfort food time. It doesn't seem five minutes since the blossom was on the tree, how quickly this year has gone by.

At ground level, I noticed the other day, we had had a nocturnal visitor, of the prickly variety, just in case your are eating breakfast, I will just say they had left a message for me.

3/9/5 Thomas has just come to me and said "Ah we have got a visitor on the lawn and dragged me onto the Patio to see a squirrel (the tree rat) disappearing down the garden.

In the air yesterday afternoon, apart from the holiday makers going back to Coventry, there was a dragon fly, I was trying to work out which was the more graceful, and quieter (had to ask Thomas how to spell that) of the two.

Thoughts from the Patio Doors:-

How does one turn something irritating, uncomfortable and annoying, into something which one is able to deal with, in fact, possibly something beautiful.

Well of course we would all love to have the ability to turn some of the most annoying and irritating situations; war, terrorism, floods, typhoons etc, in our global village in to situations, which we can help to deal with, upon reflection, perhaps we could play some small part, with some things!

However, take for instance the Oyster, he or she can deal with an irritating, uncomfortable and annoying grain of sand, is covers it's grain of sand in a smooth protective coating. So what was an irritant is now the seed for something new.

"The meaning and purpose of time

The English poet Steve Turner poignantly reminds us, “These are the good old days. Just wait and see!” Before you know it, these will be our good old days. Time waits for no one and it really is flying by. Looking at time from a perspective that excludes the God of Scripture is rather depressing. Have you ever considered that much of our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time that we rush through our lives trying to save! And when we soberly look at the question of time, our lack of it is foremost in our thoughts"

I found that quote on another web site, (www.rzim.org), but when I remember the quote I gave you about Ulla-Carin Lindquist's young son, Gustaf, in my last letter, the above makes even more sense, do you remember he said "Mummy, every second is a life".

So if wasting all this time thinking about time, is the irritant, how do we cover it over, make it more bearable, more comfortable like the oyster and his grain of sand, perhaps we should just take the view of young Gustaf and treat each moment as a precious gift, and coat each second with Love to protect it forever.

I was thinking the other day, (dangerous I know) what some of the meanings behind phrases, that perhaps we use everyday. So onto the "Google" search we went, and I put "God Knows", now I could have gone for the one that said "God knows what it's like to be a teenager" but I didn't, I went for this one:-

GOD KNOWS

When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts...
God knows how hard you have tried.

When you've cried so long and your heart is in anguish...
God has counted your tears.

If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by...
God is waiting with you.

When you're lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone call...
God is by your side.

When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to turn...
God has a solution.

When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated...
God has the answer.

If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope...
God has whispered to you.

When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for...
God has blessed you.

When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe...
God has smiled upon you.

When you have a purpose to fulfill and a dream to follow...
God has opened your eyes and called you by name.

Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are facing...
GOD KNOWS!!

Now I liked all of that, it hit chords with me, especially the third paragraph, it seemed to fit in with all the other mentions of time in this letter.

When I start to write each of these letters, I have no idea of what, if any theme there is going to be, but hopefully you enjoy them, as much as I enjoy writing them.

Sorry, but there is no joke to end with in this letter, perhaps the next one, the reason, well the above "God Knows" has affected me so much, that I just could not think of ending with a joke.

Shalom and God Bless

Paul

The three pictures, I've managed to upload so far, and believe me this technology is unbelievable, it must prove there is grey matter under my grey matter. I'm not saying I'm a tollpuddle martyr, but technology and me don't usually hit it off.

Picture One is me, have not yet managed the technology to airbrush the grey hair out.

Picture two, is the Patio Door, from which my blog gets it's name.

Picture three is my ten year old son's sunflower, which we have been waiting and waiting to flower all summer holidays.