Greetings to All,

Four times warned is a ...... Cup of Tea and one (or two) biscuits WILL be required during this letter!!!

Here we are again, happier as can be ...........

I was so totally overwhelmed by the responses to number 15, it certainly was an extremely hard one for me to write, but I truly hope I can move on from that one. Neil Armstrong made it back to Earth from his 'one giant leap' so I can certainly find the courage to move on from my leap into the unknown, to, where no man has been before . . . ACHIEVEMENT the final goal.

Acceptance is a hard thing to learn, but there has to be a starting point, a starting gun needs to be fired, for the race to start. Not that patients on my ward were ever encouraged to race through the therapies. It's not a case of ALL or NOTHING, each piece of the pie has to be considered and digested with understanding of the consequences. Accepting the pro's and con's of each situation and coming up with a balanced option, means you can carry on eating without getting indigestion!!!

Observations from the touch line:-

You know what they say about Rugby,it's a game, played by men with odd shaped balls, Ashley plays at school, but he seems to have an odd shaped shoulder, but thanks to the doctors at Walsgrave, it's now back where it should be. They got his dose of morphine wrong, so he was completely unaware of the procedure, lucky lad! Well we keep our fingers crossed that he does not need an operation, as there is a fracture at the head of the bone. Perhaps Ashley ought to stick to tidily winks!

From the Patio Doors:-

Windy wet horrible one minute, next summer sunshine, next it can't make it's mind up which one to be. The cherry has almost lost all it's leaves. The Tall tree, which has no name, in the neighbours garden is strange, it's summer canopy, can be seen, well where it used to be. As the weeks have gone by, the leaves seems to be disappearing from the top, inwards, so the effect is sticks, sticking out from an ever decreasing greenish canopy.

Squirrels - I thought we had seen the last of them at 25 Spicer, but no they seem to 'pop' up with greater regularity, mainly attacking the windfalls, that come from next door's Bramley tree.

Hedgehog pogo (that was ther nearest the spell check would get to the word I wanted to use, so I've let it go this time!), who's meant to do the cleaning up after them, there are some very irresponsible Mrs. Tiggy Winkles out there. Don't get me wrong, I love to come down in the morning and see the crazy patterns they have made in the long grass, round and round in circles, I think we have found the true reason, behind crop circles, it's the country hogs, en mass, drawing patterns, communicating with the night sky........ off his hat (I can hear you saying it) JUST A WORD or two, don't forget to look through your bonfire leaves etc., for hogs before setting light to it on 5th November.

Plagues of frogs everywhere you look, our garden seem to have a secret supply of frogs, but where are they coming from? and can they find there way back if you move them out of harm's way? ie., car been driven down the drive.

Thoughts from behind the Patio Doors:-

Somebody the other day suggested that I read the following passage, and let her know what I thought about it, well here we go....

1 James v12

The English Standard version says;

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

The New King James version says;

Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

The Amplified Bible says

12Blessed (happy, [a]to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.

First of all when I started to read it, I thought I'm going to have to read and read this passage through and through, perhaps read the verses around it. Well, I had an initial idea what it might be about, but have decided to read the surrounding passage, to make sure the thoughts I was getting from it were correct. I also looked at different versions.

The first thing I noticed was that the ESV and NKJV seem to be at odds with each other in the first line, or is it my interpretation of the sentence; "remains steadfast under trial" against "who endures temptation".

I suppose if I relate the ESV to my personal circumstances, I have had to remain steadfast under the trials of the last 18 months or so, my faith has kept me strong, and when there have been moments of doubt, I know that the Good Lord will 'pull me back in again' because he Loves and believes in me.

Now what does the NKJV mean, in the same context again, have I had to endure temptation over the last 18 months, if so I can't think what sort it might be, unless, of course the temptation would be just to turn away from God and doubt him and his powers, so could this mean exactly the same as the ESV version then?

Now the next line; 'for when he has stood the test' against 'for when he has been approved', this is strange, because the ESV line could almost follow the endures temptation line from the NKJV.

The final line in both versions are the same, 'he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.' What does this crown look like, I wonder, is it physical, or is it like a badge, medal or an award for bravery or is it a great blessing, for surviving great trials and temptations, trusting in the Lord who Loves us all.

One last thought on this passage, reminds me of the great gift God gave the Jews, a very special reward for their patience, for trusting in him, he rewarded them, and us with the sabbath, with a temple in time, which can't be destroyed, so we don't have to be, as I suppose we all are, at times, impatient, and waiting until we reach heaven for our reward, our 'crown of life' we have each Saturday or Sunday to thank the Lord, for his Love and return it to him seven fold, in fact we have each day to thank him for his Love.

So there is no such expression as 24/7, the real phrase, if it has to be used is 24/6, the seventh day is not our day to be wasted, it's the Lord's day, something he gave to us, as a great reward for keeping and holding fast to his Love for us.

Well, I've just finished reading the passages arounf v12, well if I had done as I said I would, and read it before I started, then I would have realised that in the NIV, it's headed up "Trials and Temptations", thats a big clue. But, I think I got the perserverance bit right, and in v17, James mentions "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from from the Father of the Heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows." So, a perfect gift that I mentioned of the temple in time, surely could be the 'good and perfect gift'.

As ever, I'm open to pointers on this, and anything else I write.

A Joke to end with:-

You know how I love Jewish humour, well it was a love I obtained from my Father, and I suppose when I find the odd one or two jokes it's my way of sending, a little laugh up to heaven for him.

These two are described as blue - ish, so I hope they don't offend anyone, and thanks as ever to the usual site:-

Doctor Moshe Rabinowicz and his wife Rachel are having a terrible fight at the breakfast table. He gets up in a rage and walks out yelling, "and you are not any good in bed either" as he storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends. He calls Rachel and after at least a dozen rings she answers the phone. Again irritated Moshe says "what took you so long to answer the phone"?
She says, "I was in bed".
"In bed this late in the day, doing what"?
"I was getting a second opinion" she replied.

Could not resist this one either:-

An old man walks into a church, and goes for a confession.

The priest pulls back the window, and the old man says:"Forgive me father, for I have sinned"

The priest says: "Tell me, my son...."
The old man explains: "I am 80 years old, and I have recently started a relationship with a woman of 25. She is absolutely gorgeous, and we have been having unbelievable sex 3 or 4 times a day, every day...I can almost not catch my breath...it's a mind-blowing experience"

The priest then asks: "How long has this relationship been going on?"
The old man replies: "About 2 months..."

The priest then asks: "When was the first time that you confessed this relationship?"
The old man replies:"Today"

The priest asks:"Why is this the first time?"
The old man explains:"Actually this is my first ever confession"...

The priests (naturally) asks: "Why?"
The old man explains: "Well, actually, I'm Jewish..."

The priest is exasperated..."In that case, why are you telling me...???!"
The old man explains...
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.
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"I'm telling EVERYBODY.....!!!"

A Prayer for Reconciliation

GRACIOUS God, ruling the earth and its people
not by terror but in love;
we worship you.
We confess that too often our words hurt others
and our deeds are selfish;
forgive us.
In this time of uncertainty and fear, help us to love our enemies
and do good to those who hate us,
in the name of Jesus our Lord.
Amen.

Shalom and God Bless

Paul

P.s., Was Neil Amstrong the first man on the moon, I forget, but I remember watching it on black & white television.

Hi

Someone the other day asked me "what I do when I'm not peering through the Patio Doors, writing, How do you fill your day"? Fortunately, for these occasions, I have some prepared 'flash cards', which not only help, when my voice is a having a bad day, but are just useful for day dreaming at. And then the day after my counsellor said, "If you achieve a small task, what would you reward yourself with, well Michelle.... it's not watching a good old black and white comedy on the TV, the answer is below...

Have to start with some mis-spelt chocolates, surely it's Akerman, not Ackerman ...

and more.....

Open the box, let the scent free

Just like Grandma used to make ....

A well balanced diet requires plenty of liquid ....

I wonder why after all this chocolate, I'm as high as ...... or is it just the tablets

Dear All

This is a hard one to write, I suppose it opens me up, so wide. Please excuse the almost, bullet point style, and sorry it's arrived so quickly after 14.

ACCEPTANCE, is a two way conversation, the spiritual 'phone line is never broken, the 'hot line' to the Lord is always there. The following is a conversation between me and God:-

Dear Lord,

My wife and children are so understanding and Loving, but it must be painful for them to see me like this?
Paul, believe me I will look after them, as I do you - have faith and trust me

But they want from me so much, I don't have the strength to understand it all.
Believe Paul...

It's all strange but true..........I have so many unanswered questions.......STILL
But sharing problems can be so hard and painful, - But I'm here to listen to you Paul.

Oh dear Lord, I thank you I am not labeled with anything terminal
I have a chance to complete the tasks you have and will set before me,

Yes, I take tablets, yes I have 'organic' problems, yes I'm (disabled (hate that word)
But they still don't dissuade me from my goal, from listening to you and spreading the Good News

My Myoclonic Epilepsy - constant jerking, I (hate (strong word) it
But it does not stop you from being Paul, does it?

My cervical disc problems - hellish pain all the time - why?
Does it stop you loving me Paul?

My awful tremour and painful unsteady walking
But Paul, it does not stop you from sharing your Love for others, does it?

My, oh so poor memory and concentration make me angry Lord, with myself
It will not be so for ever and ever Paul.

My hellish Depression
But Paul, I will lift you, and carry you through those times, and you know this to be true

My Dissociative disorder, living with these things is confusing, I don't understand it all
Listen to me, have faith in me and we will get through it together

My Conversion disorder is frustrating and upsetting me
Paul, stand tall, hold your head up high, like it used to be

Yes I get frustrated, annoyed with my inabilities, my mind and body are slower than they were
But I take my time, and it comes eventually - and so it will be Paul.

Why don't I understand, why don't others, it's so hard with out a label, acceptable to them
It's a challenge for me, it's so taboo - and so it will be Paul

Why do I have such depressingly low days, when nothing makes sense, nothing goes to plan
Perhaps you are testing me, that's right, yes? - and so it will be Paul

Why is it so hard to praise myself, it's important, or so I'm told
Yes I hear you, start with small goals, then move to larger goals - believe in what you are taught Paul

Why do I have to ask my children how to spell words, which used to trip out so easily
It's a way of including them in your day, it will be so different to what it used to be like Paul - I understand, I think Lord.

I'm in such pain, physically and mentally, my friends help and pray for me, and I thank them.....but
Look to the future Paul, don't be afraid, I will not let you trip, fall or fail

Lord, why now - is it all part of your plan for me?
Paul, the plan I have for you might be long and hard at times, but with your strong faith, we will achieve our goals

I hold in my heart and pray for; my wife, my children, my friends, my doctors (especially in Rugby) daily .....

.....and so it will be Paul, Accept and move forward

Hello All

Well the season is upon us, when all around things are changing......

From the Patio Doors:-

This morning I'm looking out on a really sad looking morning, fallen leaves are getting caught up in the ever growing blades of long grass. The once brown bark chippings below the "bouncy machine"
are getting a coat of golden hews. Soon will be the time to clean off the trampoline and get it's winter coat put on. Ashley attempted this but because the cover had water hidden in it's creases, he decided he didn't want to get wet. (perhaps we have found the reason why the shower is so alien to him!)

The Christmas Tree is looking cheerful, I suppose it's looking through the Patio doors and thinking about a nice warm house for a few weeks; wont be long now.....

I really would like to see a decent fall of snow for this Christmas, just for a change. I know mild winters are nice, but it does feel strange waking up on Christmas morning to no snow, but just for the children to wake up Christmas morning, to see a blanket of snow, so we could build a snow politician, and throw snowballs at it. So just for a change, could I ask for snow on my Christmas box list.

Anyway, moving to just by the side of the Patio Doors are the tubs, already planted up with their winter 'bits 'n' bobs'. I think the thought is that they will be protected from the frost there, but their beauty still can be appreciated from the other side of the doors; Oh, could the snow avoid that part of the Patio... please.

12.10.05 Last night the Good Lord provided again, instead of Severn Trent, and those blades of grass have 'gotten' taller, but this morning the clothes are hanging on the line in glorious sunshine, giving out a scent of conditioner, which is so beautiful.

I hadn't really noticed until I was thinking about it but the skies over the garden seem to be a lot quiter, perhaps it's the end of the holiday flights into Baginton. The Air Ambulance does not seem to be such a frequent visitor, so that must be positive as well.

Just around the corner from the Patio Doors we had a visitor the other night, it had managed to get into the cloakroom, whilst the backdoor was open, yours truely had to pick up the wee frog and remove him from the house. Then the following night I nearly stepped on the attached photograph ( I do hope this works, not very good at attachements), don't his eyes look alien? One of good creatures all the same.

Thoughts from the Patio Doors:-

12.10.05 I have just been reading a blog (oh he's off again, I can hear you saying it) and it truly inspired me, written by a 20 year old chap from Leicester, who really does seem to get into the nitty gritty of his faith, he references passages in the bible, then expands and expands upon them.

Is the Spirit in me suggesting that I carry on with my emails in this fashion, or am I strong enough to take on the CHANGE that it necessary to move forward to work to his Praise and Glory? Should I start to reflect more, and pray more about passages in the bible, well more than I do at present? I'll talk with Tim about this one next week, or welcome any suggestions?

I've just suggested that I don't like change for changes sake, but changes are inevitable in our lives, some are good, some are not so looked forward to, and there is nothing we can do about them.

Whilst I was speaking to one of my cousins the other day, he mentioned that his youngest; Joshua, had just started school, I asked if he remained "stiff upper lipped" "yes of course" came the reply, I waited like all the other Dads until they were back in the car's", it will not be long until his daughter Alice is at school, then their days will become strangely quiet.

"Children seem to grow and change so quickly", I said to Andrew, before you know it, Joshua and Alice will be wanting university fees, living expenses etc. When I told him that Ashley will be 17 next year, he could not believe it.

Change can be very confusing for youngsters of Thomas's age as well. He had watched a film with me the other week end and then I showed him a picture in the Radio Times of one of the actors in the film, but as they are today, he could not grasp the fact that people in films, don't stay looking as they were for ever and ever. He then inspected my head and chin, and exclaimed that I had more grey than he could remember, "Yes Thomas" I wonder what happens to make Mums and Dads go grey?

I suppose when I think about Church the most notable changes are the changes in the colour of the altar hangings (sorry if that's the wrong description), they guide us through the church year.

Changes can occur when we least expect them too, and so sadly, I wave a good bye to Allan & Vee Tyler and the A Team at Rod Waspe in Bank Street at the end of the month The end of three generations of Stationers, Dad was a buyer of stationery in Harrods (name dropping) and my Grandfather worked with 'The Taw Valley Wholesale Company' and they are still going today.

Change can of course be the start of new beginnings, don't ask me what I intended to do, with my new beginnings, because I think that they started a few years ago. With all my medical problems, and the stressful times that has put on both Mel and I, and there have been some tough times, I know that I have been guided through and I know I'm going to have to pay back, my guide and I'm nearly ready to do that.

Medical Update:-

I saw my 'quack' on Monday, and she has signed me off for another three moths, by that time, I shall have seen my consultant at Coventry and Warwick again and demanded a few things of him. Medication has changed again, because the last Anti-inflammatory was not doing the trick, and I'm still a pain in the neck (!!!!)

12.10.05 Had a really bad night last night, although I must have done I can't remember getting much sleep, the church clock kept me informed how many hours my neck, head and left arm had been keeping me in pain. Took some Tramadol...

A Joke to end with:-

Synagogue Bulletin Blunders.

These announcements, with hilarious typos and phrasing blunders, were reportedly found in various shul newsletters and bulletins around the country. Even the spell checker wouldn't have helped!

1. Don't let worry kill you. Let your synagogue help. Join us for our Oneg after services. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation.

2. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

3. We are pleased to announce the birth of David Weiss, the sin of Rabbi and Mrs. Abe Weiss.

4. Thursday at 9, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All women wishing to become Little Mothers please see the rabbi in his private study.

5. The ladies of Hadassah have cast off clothing of every kind and
they may be seen in the basement on Tuesdays.

6. A bean supper will be held Wednesday evening in the community center. Music will follow.

7. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the JCC. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

8. Rabbi is on vacation. Massages can be given to his secretary.

9. Goldblum will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

10. The Men's Club is warmly invited to the Oneg hosted by
Hadassah. Refreshments will be served for a nominal feel.

11. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Rob, who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

12. We are taking up a collection to defray the cost of the new carpet in the sanctuary. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

13. If you enjoy sinning, the choir is looking for you!

14. The Associate Rabbi unveiled the synagogue's new fund-raising campaign slogan this week: "I Upped My Pledge. Up Yours"

A Prayer to end with, thanks to Ann Smith (CAFOD site)

Creator God,
As we journey through this world
Give us the grace to allow your Holy Spirit to work through us.
Help us to speak, think and work
with honesty, and compassion,
to celebrate all that is life-giving,
to restore hope where it has been lost,
and to bring about change where it is needed.

We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, our companion.
Amen

For now, Shalom and God Bless

Paul